I just need a hug

I've been in the University of Liverpool for just under a weak now and I'm absolutely loving it. I'm living in a flat with only two other people, and we're really close already - none of us can get over just how little time it has been since we got here. The night life is brilliant, and the guild is literally a one minuit walk away! How could it possibly be bad...?

Well, a couple of things, really...

My last post was complaining about my friend who hadn't told me all night what was happening. She explained that her phone was out of network, which didn't really explain how she couldn't just use the home phone or someone elses. Then, last night, she did it again. She told me it was because her room mate had all her friends around and she had to keep an eye on them, while she was on the phone to her Dad all night, but it still doesn't explain why she couldn't send one measly text. This is supposedly my best friend, and I just wish she hadn't come here. I feel like I should give her the benifit of the doubt and trust her, but I'm just sick of it all.

Also, Karl not being here is really starting to get to me now. I'm one step away from walking up to someone and asking for a hug, because I miss his so much. Still, I'll be back home on the 10th, and a rhythm should start on monday. That should help take my mind off stuff, right?

Please.... Just don't make me say it...

It's the night before I leave for university and I'm crying on my bed, alone.

Why?

There was meant to be a big get together with my friend and her boyfriend with me and mine. I'd already got the dates wrong, thinking it might have been yesterday, so I made sure that I texted her early in the day so I would have a chance for her to reply. I know she doesn't have signal in her house so I wasn't surprised that she didn't reply. It was starting to get late, though, and I was even trying to stay on MSN and see if she was there, but to no avail.

At 8.30 I began to get annoyed and phoned up her house. Her dad told me that she was in the shower, I assumed it would be getting ready to go out. He said she would tell her to call me back. 3/4s of an hour went past with no word, so I called again. I was greeted again with her father, who told me she was on her way to the metrocenter of all places and apparently she'd told him that she'd already called back!

So I tried her mobile. For once, it was in signal, but after a while of phoning I heard a busy background, then silence. She'd hung up on me. That really hurt. I tried again and after a while it went to voicemail.

All the while I was hovering around the house, looking for things to do and waiting for some sort of reply. I was telling my mum and her boyfriend, and when they heard they told me it was disgraceful - leaving me on my last night in Hexham with no clue what to do. That was apparently not what I wanted to hear because I suddenly started crying. I ran back upstairs before they could see, texting her to call me when she could. She still hasn't.

I've been wanting to cry for a while. I think another bit that sparked me off was when I was talking about what I could do if my friend wasn't coming. I had to see Karl, but I didn't want to wait that long, and I really didn't want to go out again. To be honest, I didn't even want to see Karl. I still don't. I just want to be able to text him and say 'See you in a month'. I really don't want to say goodbye, and its making my tears come back just thinking about it. This is it - 100% goodbye for so long, without any chance of seeing him again before I go, and I just can't face that.

Please don't make me....