Want Something Kept Secret? Post it on the Internet!

I always get confused about people’s paranoia about the internet: something about the entire world being connected seems to scare people sometimes, especially when it’s concerning something people really don’t want to be spoken aloud.

Frequently on the television, usually the news, they’ll post an analogy about the internet. In one example, the presenter was in the middle of a busy mall, shouting his details through a speaker to illustrate the danger of handing out your information to ‘dodgy’ websites.

Firstly, what is meant by a ‘dodgy’ website? Almost anyone who knows a bit about computers, especially those who specifically scam people using them, would know exactly how to make an impressive looking website. But for every scam, there are so many more websites which work, and if you were still worried then paypal is the sensible option. It’s a well-known and trusted name which would really suffer with any bad feedback.

Obviously, as soon as it says anything about an inheritance in a foreign country, ignore it. Yes, it might be real, but it’s really not worth checking. The same goes for most charities online as well, unless they’re a well known company.

So, generally, you can trust your bank details on the internet, in the right place, and nowadays even if you buy in a store then your details very possibly may be sent via the internet anyway.

The main thread of this blog was meant to be about the social side of the internet, however. There’s a lot of controversy about the safety of posting your deepest feelings to the internet. The main reason is that it’s split into two types of thinkers: the ‘I don’t want to put it where everyone will read it’ and the others.

‘The others’ is a little more complex, with conflicting issues. We, (because I am strictly a believer in this view) realise that by putting it on the internet then the whole world has access to it but we also realise… who would want to? As the proud owner of at least 5 websites, all of which have probably been seen by about 50 people, tops, I realise that no one cares about yet another person jabbering on. And these were actually advertised websites, too, not ones which just faded into the background. If you want someone to read what you say then you have to work amazingly hard.

The few people that do actually view these websites are a very small amount and are more then likely from a distinctly foreign country or from somewhere that you neither know nor care about. If someone you will never knows something, then why is it a bad thing they know?

You might be wondering what the point of this is. If no one’s going to find it, what’s the point of posting it onto the internet? Well, sometimes it’s just good to tell someone something that’s really burning you up inside. In the real world, it’s almost impossible to express all of your feels to someone who is completely outside and impartial, without sounding like a crazy person or paying far too much money for a psychiatrist. The internet is just the tool to express your secrets to real people who just don’t give a damn.

For those who want to try this, I suggest the following (optional) steps:
>>>Use a website that isn’t based on connectivity. Bebo, MySpace and anything else like this is a bad idea if you don’t want people who actually know you to find you. Freewebs and Blogster are good examples.
>>>Use an internet alias. Possibly even make a second one if the first one is used commonly within your friends.
>>>Don’t tell anyone about it you know, even if you really want to show it. You may regret it later if you want to add more.
>>>If you actually want input to your problems, then I’d recommend Help.com. You can even post anonymously, and the best thing is no one’s ever heard of it!
>>>Don’t use people’s real names.

If you have a secret, one of the safest places to say it is the internet. For those of you who still don’t believe me, there is a hitcounter positioned at the bottom of this screen. Instead of counting how many page views there are (I have a habit of going backwards and forwards onto a webpage) it counts the amount of viewers there have been since it was put there. It was placed there before I began this article. It started on 1 (for me). It is still on 1. So, maybe there won’t be anyone to disagree with me.

This is What Love Looks Like

As a 17-year-old girl, I admit that I am not most experienced in Love. I’ve experienced love for convenience, friendship disguised cunningly as love, and recently I believe I have experienced True Love: the sort of feeling that, although you realise that a relationship doesn’t have to last forever to be special, you still want it to last forever. This is rare, especially for someone as cautious and literal minded as I am who usually views things as lasting for ALAP (As Long As Possible), rather then the dreaded word ‘forever’. I can honestly say I am not an expert, however, as I have only felt this way for a couple of months, and therefore still have the cautious view that this is again friendship in disguised (but with 99% accuracy I can say this isn’t true).

What I’m getting at is that each feeling I have is new, and as a tourist to this new emotion I find things which are interesting. The point this time that I found was about the image of what we fall in love with.

The trail of thought began with a standard moment of insecurity which everyone makes, spoken aloud by my boyfriend. I think it was about weight – after all, it usually is, even with the slimmest of people – and my response was a typical cliché line ‘you look fine the way you are. You shouldn’t lose or gain a pound,’ and I’m not the sort to lie. I did, and genuinely still do, think that he is the perfect weight and build.

Then I realised that clearly it wasn’t going to be a very honest opinion. Everything about him I began to realise was under the rose-tinted spectacles, and I only realised this when, almost desperately, I had to keep a hold of the image I had of him the moment that I fell in love.

Is this just a single incident, or is it really the same for every relationship, and possibly the secret towards failing and succeeding relationships? If every time someone fell in love they fell in love with the exact, complete form that they saw their lover as, then a lot of things would be explained.

Firstly, the failure of young love: In our earliest years, we develop more then throughout the rest of our lives, and if we fall in love with someone while they are growing older, then they are obviously going to change. This image isn’t just physical appearance; it is merely how we perceive the other half, which is largely personality. As someone we are interested in changes, we begin to sub-consciously lose interest, even if they become more beautiful and well-rounded people.

But then why do some young loves last, I hear you ask? Well, the key is to fall in love over and over again. If there is a way to actually do this purposefully, then I would like to know. As far as I know, there is no way, and the ability to do so is purely accidental and unrelated to the strength of the love or the characters falling in love.

Another example of the use of this theory is why the rate of divorce and bad relationships is on the increase. Blame the sanctity of marriage being destroyed, morality being corrupted or the general state of the world, if you wish, but the fact of the matter is that many couples who find themselves making the pledge to stay together forever and genuinely mean it find themselves mistaken, where many more may have stayed together only a few years earlier. But our world is changing constantly at a faster rate then ever before, especially the people. Our views, appearance, and even personality can be manipulated in a moment.

There are exceptions to the rule. There are many couples who break up for reasons other than this. People can sometimes change the image in their mind to one that is either more or less realistic to the actual partner over time. A lack of communication is a main cause of the image blurring and seemingly less attainable.

And the couples who manage to brave it all to last forever? Well, there are either two explanations: Either they continue to fall in love again and again, or the more likely option that their original image was either vague or based on something that never changes, such as an aspect of their personality, a sense of humour or even just that certain smile.

Does this theory always hold, or is this just co-incidence? Either way, I don’t think I’ll be risking an extreme make-over anytime soon…