I'm Impulsive!!

This weekend has been a strange one.

I've been acting pretty differently, this weekend, because of this Friday. I was talking to my friends, and they were all saying that they were getting together to go to the metrocenter (a big shopping mall), which isn't too unusual. They live really far from me, and I should really be able to accept this, but I really wanted to go. I thought it would be pointless, it was already 11 on Friday, and it takes 5 hours to get there, and another to get back, so I didn't think I'd even be able to arrive on time.

Then I found out that there was a train at 03.38.

That's right, at 11 o'clock on Friday night, I decided to get a train at half three in the morning. I'd like to say it was completely impulsive and I was instantly sure, but that would be a completely lie. I ended up needing people to convince me after a few hours, and I only decided yes when my boyfriend jokingly texted me 'I dare you to come'.

It was meant to be a surprise for my friends, but in the end it turned out no one was surprised. I told my boyfriend on the phone, unable to contain my excitement. One of my friends rarely goes into Hexham, as he is in Sunderland University, so although he didn't know I would be there, he didn't particularly know otherwise. And that friend told my other friend. I was slightly annoyed I managed to surprise no one, especially considering how surprised I was that I was actually doing it. I usually need to come up with some sort of plan for weeks before I do anything, and I was panicking all the way through.

I've been pretty happy all weekend as a consequence of this. There's been no built up expectation, so no let down. It's been fresh, and exciting, and completely worth it.

I came closer then ever to consciously skipping a lesson today. For some reason, I really, really didn't want to leave Hexham. It wasn't enjoyment, or attachment to my boyfriend, or hate of Liverpool. It was this burning feeling inside of me that I just couldn't leave... I realised this was the same thing that had driven me there in the first place, and I just couldn't understand it.

I'm in Liverpool now, but it seems that all the powers-that-be were trying to get me to turn back all the journey. I arrived at Preston to see no trains to Liverpool, so I asked and they said I needed a train to Wigan... I was confused, and frightened something was going wrong, and that I wouldn't be able to do that journey easily again. At Wigan, I saw that I needed a bus to Liverpool. I figured that there must be some sort of trouble with the train lines, just as I'd suggested to my boyfriend that there might have been.

I'm at home now, and I'm still not happy. I just want to leave right now, and I don't know why. I'm almost expecting something terrible to happen here, some reason why I should have stayed at home...