Just another l*zy day

Today is a day of rest, actually its almost a week of rest, but it seems that it's a day too late.

As I mentioned last time, the fireworks were on the Saturday and I would like the say that I was calm and collected but really I wasn't. The fear of being scared was more overwhelming than my actual phobia, and it ended up with me being very.... very frighteningly quiet. And when I did speak my words were fast and disjointed. Every time I heard a bang I would look to the window, even though the curtains were closed, and not be able to move until I knew that there wasn't going to be another. My senses were alert and driving me insane. I was terrified. I ended up going down to my local supermarket, just for something to do because I couldn't stay in the house while I could hear them.

I managed to sleep quite early, even while I could still hear them outside. It just got to the point where I was too tired to be scared, because the adrenaline had completely worn me out. I didn't sleep well, and I was at work the next morning. I was half awake for the first hour or so, before remembered what had made me so tired, and then I was on edge. I remember holding the keys so tightly that my hands would hurt, just to try to force myself to calm down. By afternoon I was fine, though.

So today's day off is a day too late, but I suppose I can't complain about having worked yesterday. It was supposed to be someone else's shift, and I have officially been dubbed 'Sunday Stealer' at work because three times in a row now I have taken someone else's Sunday shift that they did not want. But Sundays are time and a half, so I love them.

But my problem is that I'm not working until Friday. It seems strange that I've gone from being completely unemployed with nothing to do but sit in front of the computer for weeks, and now the idea of four days off in a row is so daunting. I'm worried about not getting enough money, about not having enough social interaction, about having nothing to do. I will manage, the days go by easier than you could ever hope I know, but I would still rather be doing something with my time.