31 August, 2008

A Quiz

Hey, I've decided to make one of those annoying little quiz things you always find on junk emails. This one should be interesting, though....

The Predictive Text Quiz:

First step: Whip your mobile out!
Second Step: Start in the text box and make sure its on predictive. If you've never used your phone in predictive before, this shouldn't make too much sense....
Third Step: Type the numbers beneath, making sure not to change the words you end up with. The words you get should tell something about you!
(1 stands for your punctuation mark. This may be a #, * or 0 instead, so just type that one!)

1) 2556
2) 223
3) 66
4) 63
5) 484
6) 666
7) 11
8) 111
9) 633
10) 366
11) 3668
12) 543
13) 46
14) 723
15) 346
16) 743
17) 7433
18) 4673
19) 966
20) 8278
21) 24
22) 749
23) 5483
24) 269
25) 5683


What this means!!
(If your word isn't here, you're 'unusual and mysterious' :))
1) 2665 -
'Cool' ~ You either think lots of things are great, or you live with bad weather
'Book' ~ Intellectual
'Cook' ~ Are you a chef?
2) 223 -
'Bad' ~ You're ambiguous and pessimistic
'Ace' ~ You're optimistic
3) 66 -
'No' ~ You're opinionated and corrective
'On' ~ You're organised
4) 63 -
'Of' ~ You're possessive
'Me' ~ You're egotistic
5) 484
'huh' ~ You're easily confused
'hug' ~ You're affectionate
'4th' ~ You're accurate
'Gtg' ~ You're caring
6) 666
'Non' ~ You're unimaginative
'Mom' ~ You're considerate
'Moo' ~ You're playful
'Noo' ~ You're cheeky
7) 11
':)' ~ You're a happy person
':(' ~ You're a depressing person
';)' ~ You're a playful person
'??' ~ You're confused a lot
'?!' ~ You're confused and frustrated a lot
'!!' ~ You're extreme
8) 111
':-)' ~ You're a happy person
':-(' or ':'(' ~ You're a depressing person
';-)' ~ You're a playful person
'???' ~ You're confused a lot
'!?!' or '?!?' ~ You're confused and frustrated a lot
'!!!' ~ You're extreme
'...' ~ You're impatient
'(!)' ~ You're sarcastic
9) 633
'Off' ~ You're controlling
'Odd' ~ You're judgmental
'Ned' ~ Are you scottish?
10) 366
'Don' ~ You're cautious (usually from 'Don't')
'Emo' ~ You're sterotypical
'Dom' ~ You like someone called Dom :)
11) 3668
'Foot' ~ You're aware
'Dont' ~ You can't use a '
'Font' ~ You are creative
12) 543
'Lie' ~ You're paranoid
'Kid' ~ You're patronising
'Lid' ~ You're hungry
13) 46
'In' ~ You're ready
'Go' ~ You're reclusive
14) 723
'Sad' ~ You are
'Pad' ~ You are a frog
'Rad' ~ You are not a surfer
15) 346
'Dim' ~ You're bright
'Ego' ~ You're judging
'Din' ~ You're sensitive
16) 743
'She' ~ You like to gossip
'Pie' ~ You like to eat
17) 7433
'Side' ~ You're neutral
'Ride' ~ You're adventurous
'Shed' ~ You're dirty
'Riff' ~ You're musical
18) 4673
'Hope' ~ You're hopeful
'Gore' ~ You're exciting
'Hose' ~ You're mundane
19) 966
'Won' ~ You're talented
'Zoo' ~ You're extravagent
'Woo' ~ You're childish
20) 946
'Who' ~ You're a secret doctor
'Win' ~ You're ambitious
21) 24
'Ah' ~ You're slow
'Bi' ~ You're opinionated
'B4' ~ you're resourceful
22) 749
'Six' ~ You're exact
'Shy' ~ You're shy
23) 5483
'Live' ~ You're ambitious
'Kite' ~ You're playful
24) 269
'Any' ~ You're easily pleased
'Boy' ~ You're patronising
'Box' ~ You're resourceful
'Bow' ~ You're traditional
'Cow' ~ You're rural
'Amy' ~ You love Amy
'Coz' ~ You're trendy
25) 5683
'Love' ~ You're affectionate
'Loud' ~ You're young
26) 233
'Bed' ~ You're flirty
'Add' ~ You're logical
'Bee' ~ You're natural
27) 686
'Nun' ~ You're religious
'Mum' ~ You're caring

13 August, 2008

I am such an idiot....

Waiting for my results has got me amazingly stressed out. I'm counting down the hours, trying to think of something to do. I've been down the street, I've been on my laptop, been on my PS2 to try and beat some worthless demons out of my anxiety. I even tried to attempt at least the beginnings of an impossible, double-sided soduko jigsaw puzzle. The box says its impossible, but I suspect it's impossible not because it's a black and white, 529-piece jigsaw, but each of the pieces can fit together almost perfectly! That distraction did not last long.

My latest distraction was to go back onto my laptop and check if my student finance had all checked out, but then I've found that the website is down, typically. It's rather worrying that the people who are in charge of all my money can't even keep a website running.

Once online, I began talking to my friend on MSN. I was angry, anxious and I needed a rant. The conversation started out pretty normally, until the subject of the results came up. I told her that I was nervous, and she said she wasn't so much. "Yeah, its lucky for u i mean... uv almost already garenteed ur place + even if it all doesn't work out it doesn't make that much difference; you'll still be in the same place, with the same ppl".

I'd like to say that I'd forgotten the unfortunate circumstances which had lead her into getting such a good place close to home, but I was just in too much of a bad mood to let them affect my rant. She quickly reminded me, leaving me feeling guilty. I wanted to apologise over and over... but for some reason I just can't. I'm still so tense that I can't think properly, and I know that the less time dwelling on that subject would probably be best. I said I was sorry, but I still feel so badly.

I'm much too two-faced with this friend, anyway. I understand that sometimes she annoys me, and sometimes it boils me up inside, especially when I remember one awful thing she did to me on one terrible night. Other little things annoy me about her as well. But as much as these things get in the way, I know that apart from my boyfriend she is definitely my best friend and just about the only one I can talk to about just about anything. Even my boyfriend can't do that that well.

Now I'm in one of those moods where I feel terrible, with terrible nausea, but I'm purposefully not doing anything that I know can help me. Instead I turn in upon myself, attacking myself with guilt and more reasons to be guilty. Time has just slowed down completely to me... I still have six hours left of this day. I intend to stay awake until my results are on the internet; or at least my acceptance or denial into Manchester.

Wish me luck x x x x

12 August, 2008

The Rock

I've been thinking a lot about going to university and living far away from Karl, especially over this last weekend when Karl's been away. He was only away for the weekend, but it was still quite a shock to both of us; we both missed each other but in different ways. I missed him in the way that when I think of him I can almost feel his arms around me again, and get excited and anxious about when we'll next meet - an optimistic missing. Karl's more pessimistic; he seemed to me like in a self-destructive missing, thinking only of how terrible it was to be apart, rather then how good it was to be together.

When I think of it that way, my way seems a lot more productive, but in reality it just makes me feel guilty for not feeling as heart-broken as he was. I was resisting the urge to just tell him, "Karl! It was only a weekend!".

As we were walking from the train-station back to my house he told me "That was only the weekend, how are we going to last when you go to university?" It was a horrible thought to me because I confess that that 'break' was not completely good for me, either, for a different reason. I have a very different reaction to absence then him.

When I was alone tonight I decided to write a story about the different sorts of loves we have. The two characters inside were loosely based on me and Karl, set when I was in Uni in the middle of a long patch of not seeing one another. It explains that my love is like an animal which needs constant affection in order to stay healthy and alive; absence does not make my heart grow stronger until they are back. Only then do I realise just how much I missed him. Karl is different, and probably more normal. His love grows with his missing, as he creates in his mind of me being better then I actually am, becoming more hurt every day by the image. This is only an idea, however. Knowing my assumptions, it's probably all wrong.

We've always known that we argue more when we've been apart too long, instead of the usual reaction of annoying one another with being there too much.


So university will be a difficult time for both of us. I don't even know if I'll get into Manchester until Thursday, but there's enough likelihood to scare both of us. In the story I wrote, both characters get drunk and seduced, but both resist due to each others help; although it had a happy ending, it still upset me to write it, especially with the image of some floozy blond kissing 'Karl'.

But now I'm secure and happier. I came to a sudden realisation, when I was wondering if we're strong enough. It actually has very little to do with strength. The strength is important to back you up, but lasting through university is mostly about pure stubbornness. And there's no couple more stubborn then us.